Would You Marry Your Spouse Again

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Joined: January 2002 Posts: 2,546 Fellow member Member Joined: Jan 2002 Posts: 2,546 I personally recall that my H was a skillful pick. I but think that I wouldn't get married and take children then early. If I could do it once more I wish I experienced years of living together with girlfriends, going to wild parties and having sexual practice with all sorts of men. I only wish I had some real wild years behind me. But my life turned out differently. I got married early and had kids when I was young. I'thou having sex activity with the man that I truely love and I accept enough of wild years alee of me. And I'thou truely enjoying all of this. So I guess I would say "yupp" I'd do information technology again. hugs BB Joined: Jun 2000 Posts: 2,392 Member Member Joined: Jun 2000 Posts: 2,392 This is a question with a potentially long answer... (I'll try to practise better this time) (and I'm glad information technology WASN'T in a poll format) For a long time, I used to say that if I had it to do once more I wouldn't ally my wife if I had it to do over again. To "say" that at all had some roots in some bitter feelings that have softened a good deal over the by year(s?) or so. Now I am not so sure... because what I have found is that a lot of the reasons I would say that are withal the same. Chiefly, my wife and I are very dissimilar in our personalities and interests. I'm outdoorsy and she'southward indoorsy, she's tv set and I am figurer, she's word-find and I wanted a dern chess partner... I'1000 into cycling, working out, and running, she's into (can I use "television" again?) newspapers. If I read the compatability comments that people brand and put as well much worth in them, then those things portend less than the all-time for my wife and myself. That can be discouraging. Only.... I believe that almost things tin can be turned to an advantage, or to a sort of advantage if the right spirit prevails. At some point I set aside a lot of my own expectations. Unwittintly I removed some pressure and my wife set aside a few for me... nosotros both became kinder than we were earlier, an unexpected side-effect that I believe volition requite united states greater stability than some of the passions that others enjoy. Our marriage isn't cold, but I don't believe it's much liable to accelerate much by "warm" either... just beingness OK with that goes miles and miles (or should I say "years"?) I don't believe in the concept of "soulmates", nor any of the magical elements of couple-dom, and don't believe there's a specific "right person" for everyone. For every 1 of u.s. there must surely have been thousands of spouses we could accept made it work with... if we would resolve to "brand it piece of work". And that's not all simply a labor, simply a condolement too when you get the security of knowing yous can be kind and be done kindly likewise. In some countries at that place are arranged wedddings that are awful, I am sure... in others though, there are arranged weddings only dissimilar sets of social values that encourage people to be well together as a matter of choice, and that's merely what a lot of them do. I near cringe when I hear the question, "If you had it to practice once again, would y'all marry the same person?" because I think realistically if in the first 25 years of our lives we met someone who'd exist first-class as a spouse (whether we married them or non) nosotros probably likewise met someone who'd have done merely every bit well, or better. And so over again, certainly some WORSE ones, too!) And if nosotros lived a 2nd 25 years, isn't it possible that even if we aren't supposed to be shopping, someone might catch our centre who might seem to take been more the ideal, or might have been more of what we expected? It's not necessarily a unsafe question, but I recollect it's not ane to toy with... Maybe to consider it a little is alright, simply when my own spirit wasn't well with regard to my union it was a deadly question, because the answer wasn't what we'd perceive to be "good". And whereas my spirit is better, I am all the same not so certain of the answer because of those compatability things I listed. ....merely someone toiling in a bad spirit most certainly will ask themselves a following question, "If y'all wouldn't ally them again, then wasn't information technology a mistake?" ...."And if it was a mistake, then don't you think you should move to correct information technology?" and information technology goes downhill from there. I'm not blasting the question, nor the question-asker in all that I have said. It's a perfectly logical question for this forum and I'd be surprised if it wasn't ever asked. But I merely do remember information technology'southward one that needs to be approached with serious caution, because even if circumstances are relatively good, so it can lead to bad thinking and conceiving of bad ideas. You can't live in opposite (I Always think about those signs in parking garages that say, "exercise not dorsum upwards, severe tire damage will result"). I call back that much backing upward in our minds and in our thinking is a little like that. Instead, whomever any of us is and whomever whatever of u.s. is married to, here nosotros are - on my clock it'south the 14th of July, 2002 and I tin can come upward with things and plans and places to practise on the 15th of July, but already the 13th is gone, unrecoverable. It's really a skilful question.... merely one we should be careful with. It doesn't affair what I would take done if I could do it once more, considering I tin can't... just I tin can figure out the virtually profitable ways to prosper and do well with the circumstances I accept made past my choices so far. Another failure to exist brief, by ilmf exist well Joined: Mar 2002 Posts: 338 Member Member Joined: Mar 2002 Posts: 338 I accept asked myself this question recently. I accept to say, regretfully, NO I would not ally him if I had to practise over. At this betoken, the best thing that has surffaced from this marriage were my kids. It is very difficult to say I could give up my kids. Simply on the other manus they would have been spared years of sadness and torment. Due to my ignorance, and hanging on to a dream of having a expert life with someone, whom, I used to love with all my heart, I experience similar I subjected them to unnecessary heartache. If I were single now and met my current H, I would not Even become involved with him. He can be very deceiving, but thank you to me wising upwards and learning a few things, the signs are in that location that would heighten a ruby flag for me. I know people change, but abusive, controling people should come up with a warning or circumspection sign tatooed on their head! Joined: Jul 2002 Posts: 74 Member Fellow member Joined: Jul 2002 Posts: 74 I would with out a second though marry my W over again. Yes in that location have been some bug that we take had to bargain with but that is life. Now I do believe that there are others that we could take married and stayed married for life just this was the mitt that was delt united states. My wife has sworn that she has never had an A and think my insecurities cause me to doubt. I meet my wife as a beautiful woman is brings so many talents to our relationship that I do non have the space to list. Yes her by does carp me but after reading the list and other adult female that I've known information technology was not a bad by. Practice I wish that she had not done things and that I had not done some of the things I had done, of course but we are moving beyound that. The bug nosotros faced the past year were mainly of my doing think I'm facing an early mid life crises. I deserted her EN and actually told her I did not want to be married anymore and told her there was the door. Suppose the only existent complaint I accept is the fact that she tin prevarication and I identify a lot of value on honesty. But yous know what...when I was being a jerk the terminal year she stuck by my side and continued to pray for me and us. I practice believe in soulmates for who else would take put up with me the last several years. My wife tells people that she knew she was going to ally me after that offset date. Which btw she asked me out for it. Nosotros have e'er felt and so intuned with the other that its painful at times. She left her job from a big national corp. so she did not accept to travel considering we missed being together and sneaking away for out lunches. She is my best friend and lover...at times she might exist too close of a friend considering I share and say some things that should not exist said to a wife. When always we are apart we still call each other daily and email several times a day. I honestly could non run across how I could go through life with out her. Our strenghts and weaknesses are compliment past the others. We do non have children and while at times nosotros see that as the ulitmate manifestation of our honey it is not possible. We too feel that children would be a negative impact on our relationship. For the simple fact that nosotros are not the Disney world types but rather we spend our vactions travling to top resort and spas and then take never been comfortable around children. I honestly cannot see going through life with out this wonderful woman. She does provide a reason to get up in the morn and fifty-fifty though we have been together 13 years we yet lay awake talking till the wee hours of the morning time. I remember Goggle box has had a negative impact of so many M's now while we do watch movies nosotros spend a lot of time talking and reading. We have a habitation full of books and usally we will get on a certain topic to read and then nosotros tin can stay up talking about that. Communication is so of import and my wife has been the only person in this world that I have always been able to let into my personal world. I take never shed a tear in public since maybe nearly 10 yet my married woman had seen my weep and held me and did not recollect any less of me. When thinks have looked the darkest she was in that location to exist my biggest chearleader...she is my soulmate and the only person in the world that would have put up with my antics. So while this was a bit wordy I do say that yes I would marry my wife again without a 2nd idea. Joined: Dec 2001 Posts: 333 Member Member Joined: Dec 2001 Posts: 333 For me I would not do it agian with her if I knew what I know now. As for my electric current relationship if I had met her 10 years ago her and my life would have been much happier.When and if nosotros get married I will work very difficult at making it work.She is a awesome lady and I honey her very much 231 Joined: Nov 2001 Posts: 1,649 Member Fellow member Joined: Nov 2001 Posts: 1,649 Laura said: "On a do-over, I'd ally my electric current spouse once again...because we're supposed to be together. Who else would put upwardly with u.s.a.?" Absolutely!!! I feel the same way about my h, despite all the hard times and trials. He is the one for me...I never knew what it felt like to be truly loved until I met him and I own't letting go of it that easily. Joined: Feb 2002 Posts: x,816 Member Member Joined: Feb 2002 Posts: 10,816 NO! This is the style I'm currently feeling. It has everything to do with my reaction to what's going on in our 1000 at present - the continued "I never wanted to be Yard'd in the first identify" kinds of comments, the continued contact through hotmail and the lack of ILY's from my West. Ask me once again in a few months, or a twelvemonth. My answer may be unlike then. I certainly tin can say that I've learned a lot as a result of my "education" since D-day, and I SHOULD have gotten this kind of pedagogy in my life SOMEHOW, but I'd sure prefer getting it for some other reason than to stumble across my Due west's 11-year A. So, the answer for the moment will yet be an emphatic NO. Joined: May 2002 Posts: 11 Junior Member Junior Member Joined: May 2002 Posts: 11 Hi, I don't remember I would ally my 10 again. My H's been gone for x days now. The day he moved out he realized he'd fabricated a mistake. Before he moved out I told him, as far as I'm concerned once he moves out he'll exist gone from my life forever. He's been in contact with me 3-4 times a mean solar day every twenty-four hour period since and so. I have to accept his calls because he needs assist with sure things. I made my intentions very clear to him. I exercise not wish to reconcile. I am very angry, resentful and disgusted with him. Joined: Jun 2000 Posts: 2,392 Member Member Joined: Jun 2000 Posts: two,392 Takola, Wow, what a great answer! Tin I change mine? ...do y'all listen if I use yours? THAT is actually a thought that has occurred to me - equally a matter of fact, I've discussed with my kids the kinds of things they ought to expect, and the things that they should expect their spouses to await of them in marriage, so hopefully they'll do well. (That was something that no 1 ever did with me... our pastor's premarital counseling was about 15 minutes of the forbidding & threatening simply goose egg well-nigh being pleasing to one-some other) Blondblossom, thanks for the reply. Who's Online Now ane members (i invisible), 60 guests, and 59 robots. Key: Admin, Global Mod, Modern Forum Statistics Forums67 Topics133,517 Posts2,322,379 Members71,628 Most Onlineiii,185 Jan 27th, 2020

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